How would you describe it?

There are many words associated with mental health – many of them technical terms that we don’t always understand, and are sometimes too scared to ask for clarification.

But the truth is there are many ‘everyday’ words that describe how someone, living with any form of mental health issues, feels. Now as I’ve said previously, I have anxiety issues that can limit my ability to do things at times, but generally I am in control – however it means I can relate to these feelings.

Words such as frustration, fear, helplessness, hopelessness, sad, scared, weak, despair, concern, dread, worry, frightened, but also hopeful, wishful, happy, determined, excited, lucky, fortunate, strong, optimistic, to name but a few – and I’m sure you could add 100 of your own to this list.

As a ‘parent, brother, sister, husband, wife, friend’ of someone with mental illness, these feelings are just as real, sometimes even more so as looking from the outside, unable to help or take the pain away, can sometimes feel completely overwhelming.

At times I have wanted to shake Lauren to get her to see what she has going for her. I have definitely shouted at her, got arsey with her. And if dragging her onto a train by her hair would help, then believe me I would be willing to do it. I was telling a friend the other day, that if I could do anything to make Lauren better, even if it meant she never spoke to me again, then I would do it in a shot (as I’m sure any parent would). But these are in my moments of desperation… desperate to see her live her life to the full, achieving everything she wants, have a happy life. But if I’m being totally honest I guess it is for selfish reasons as well. Lauren and I have such a good relationship and we love spending time together. We can laugh at situations that no one else would find funny, take pleasure in the little things, and are just generally best friends. So I miss her! I still love curling up and watching a film, cooking a meal together, coming up with mad business ideas etc. But I miss going shopping, having meals out (whilst watching coaches go past with naked men on them – that’s a story!! Haha), and would love to be able to go on holiday with her sometime. But most of all I miss seeing her happy.

I know in my heart that these things will happen again, soon I hope for her sake, and therefore ‘patience’ is another great word as a Mother to someone with mental health issues. Patience, love, and understanding… these are the words I try my hardest to live by.

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